Beview: the apprentice

Spoiler-free preview: A brand new series of The Apprentice!

Ahead of the big return of BBC's The Apprentice (BBC One, this THURSDAY 6th October at 9pm), I've got an exclusive sneak preview!

Can you believe we're into our 12th series of The Apprentice!? That's right, Lord Alan Sugar's pointed the finger at over 100 candidates, we've exhausted every cheesy team name word possible (do you remember Team Phoenix and Team Decadence?), and we've been faced with numerous stomach-churning boasts. I'll always remember the seller so good they could sell ice to an eskimo, or sell a piece of paper for fifty quid. Dream on...

But dreams are reaching an all-time high as 18 new candidates walk into the boardroom in the hopes of securing a £250,000 investment and form a business partnership with Lord Sugar. I've watched the first episode and it's on fine form once again. Big personalities this year include a guy who wants to take over the world - he also has a dedicated name for his army of fans, as well as someone who likens themselves to Jim Carrey. Trust me, you will be dizzy with exhaustion because this Jim Carrey thing is an understatement. You can meet all the candidates from Matt Edmondson's hilarious point of view here.

This week, the business partner wannabes have been tasked with a selling challenge...but with a Bargain Hunt twist and having to spot treasures within trash. Get ready for lots of "lovely antique things", seemingly obvious pitfalls and the usual shouting at the telly. From this one episode I've already got my eye on a few potential actually-good-and-not-annoying candidates, but time will tell if they can stand the test of time...and the boardroom pressure cooker! There are some hilarious moments in the episode so even if you do discount the business acumen and can't take it all that seriously (after all, we have someone who sums himself up as Leonardo DiCaprio, and we have someone likening themselves to some sort of nuclear explosion...). The guaranteed laughter is itself a good enough reason to tune into The Apprentice when it returns this Thursday. Until then, all I can say is watch out for the monobrow!!!

Tuesday, October 04, 2016
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The Apprentice: Caravans!

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The current series of The Apprentice has drawn many a comment about it's big personalities and lack of their "business acumen" in places. The number of times I've shouted at the TV in mock despair is more than the number of times Jason has made us go "aww" plus the number of times I've mentioned Alex and those eyebrows. But this week, things changed.

I was lucky enough to attend the filming of the aftershow You're Fired!, which meant I got to watch the episode the Monday before the show aired. Which also meant having to keep schtum about what happened and who got fired. At this point, I should probably tell you to stop reading if you haven't seen it yet... And that if you haven't seen it yet, you should.

So, the candidates are given a selling task. Sell, sell, sell! They have to choose a big ticket item to sell sell sell, alongside two other, cheaper ones. The week before, I saw the preview/trailer/ad and thought - yawn..caravans! I couldn't have been more wrong if I tried. Milkshake man Kurt and Mr Neil Clough were project managers, featuring products such as electric bikes (no pedalling required so why is it a bike?), a folding camper, a retro campervan and a boat roof thing. Instead of going with what was known to sell most, Kurt went with the retro campervan as what he personally liked most. After his team lost grandly, Kurt's defence was to blame his earlier decision..so yeah, still his fault. They sold a massive zero campervans, despite Leah's last minute attempt (after being drafted in as "eye candy". The look on Natalie's face was the look of "I can't believe I'm not considered eye candy!" despite them having no knowledge of it at the time. But she claims she could've sold loads, as she "works in recruitment". Connecting the dots for that one is a tad difficult.

But on the other team (and I forget which names they both have), they go with what sells, and indeed...sell. Note at this point that I have used the word "sell" almost as many times as Lord Sugar did in one minute. The show was stolen from the word go by loveable Jason and his more-than loveable giant teddy bear. His selling techniques worked extremely and somewhat surprisingly well with the target market, the over 50s, making the first major sale and bringing us that lovely heartwarming 2 seconds of TV with the lady whispering into his ear. How sweet.

And from that moment on, it was a massive victory of £30something,000 compared to a teeny thousand-and-something. The highlight? Jason being asked to return to the boardroom where Lord Sugar put in an extra word about being impressed and such. That's when, in the studio audience, there was the loudest "awwwwww". Jason's used this episode to rocket to the forefront as not just a one-trick pony (his "one-trick" being peeling onions in the kitchen) but as the candidate the public will remember for series to come. I just can't help wondering what his business plan exactly is. Guesses, anyone?

Back in the firing line, Kurt's risky strategy of not picking the product with the better track record costs him dearly...and he's out. But (cue shocked faces and gasps in the audience), Shugs ain't finished just yet! After being in the boardroom three times, the finger is pointed again and it's a double firing show as Natalie is also out. Some can accuse Kurt of playing tactics and picking Natalie as the weakest link, but they were both fired so, y'know.

From even before we saw the show, I had an inkling Kurt would be given the boot. Why? I saw a chap in the audience who looked just like him! (An older version; his dad, I'm thinking.) But a double firing is even more exciting - almost as exciting as the previews for next week's online dating advert task!

More Apprentice chat next week,
Bev x

Saturday, June 15, 2013
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The Apprentice: All Fired Up?

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It's that time of the year again...the return of the boardroom, the 16 capable candidates, and the "I could do that so much better!" screams from your living rooms. The Apprentice (UK) has treated us to not one, but two, episodes from the latest 9th series. We've watched as eager beavers jumped the gun straight into the crossfire (we're talking about Apprentice...gotta have some cliches!) as the teams tackle selling stuff, and making beer. Since Tuesday, the forums/social networking sites have been spreading comments like wildfire along the lines of "The Apprentice has had it's time." I disagree.

***Firstly, if you don't like spoilers and have not yet watched this week's episodes? Stop reading now! I will tell you who's fired, and you won't like me for it. Run whilst you still can***

So, they all get fired. (Only joking; seriously, stop reading.) The first episode showed the ultra-super-ridiculously cringey "I'm the best" candidate statements...we had likenings to Jessica Rabbit and Napoleon, amongst other quotes that will make you want to hide behind a pillow - not out of fear. Candidates include silver-haired fox Myles Mordaunt, whose name alone conveys power, sucess and wealth (or is it just me?), doctor Leah Totton who I think totally disproves the "dumb blonde" concept and I reckon will go very far, Sophie Lau who reminds me so much of Susan Ma, Francessca who is Stella English, impeccably educated Jason Leech, Alex "Those Eyebrows" Mills, and Luisa Zissman who apparently asked fellow candidates who "the President of England" was. And of course, we got the cheesy team names: Endeavour and Evolve. I'm just waiting for the day they run out of those inspirational words and choose something more obscure...like "Beliebers4Lyf". Just imagine the look on Lord Sugar's face!

Episode 1 involved selling a container-load of goods including lucky Chinese cat plastic figures, loo roll, bottled water and leather jackets. Already, both boys and girls were bickering like there's no tomorrow. Leading the girls, we had enthusiastic Jaz, a name undoubtedly shortened from "JazzHands", whose eagerness was admirable but ended up patronising her colleages as 5 year old kids at school. I was particularly impressed by Leah, who has a smart aura about her, and especially annoyed by Luisa (have you seen the horrible tabloid party photos published? Definitely not Apprentice-friendly). Anyone who uses "no offence, but you're just a doctor" as an insult is definitely on my "Fired" list. On The Apprentice, there are a lot of "With hindsight, we would have done this..." moments - this team's included going to Chinatown to sell overpriced cats only to find all shops closed. "Is it a Chinese holiday?". No, silly, it's 9am. The boys also encountered cat problems, wasting time shoving batteries in, in order to make their sale. Neil, who looks like either an actor or football manager, tried to claim his crown as Alpha Male of this series; from past viewing experience, he'll do well and go far.

In the boardroom, the usual talking over each other occurred (when does it not!?) and we said goodbye to Jaz instead of Logistics Uzma and Quiet Sophie. Just when you think it's over, real life Tigger, Tim, makes a plea that would feel better placed in the firing line... Big mistake!

Leading onto Episode 2, making and selling beer, where Tim leads the girly team (pretty sure I heard Luisa say something like "come on girlies!") and Quiet Kurt is PM for the boys. Blame the editing, but I saw Kurt in Ep1 so rarely I didn't really know he existed. After choosing a rhubarb and caramel flavoured beer, the girls were making a mess...literally. I wanted to look away and run a mile, after watching them completely mess up simple calculations and standing around like clueless children instead of capable business-owners. Maybe I'm being harsh, but Lord Sugar should be going into business with someone who can do ratios and numbers, right? The boys, similarly, made errors including telling someone who didn't even drink in the brewery. And sending people to a business pitch without the product. Here, have a sniff. The bottle smells alright so buy some! Hmm... The standout perforance, however, came from Jason. Zeehan is close to closing a deal, and Jason suddenly jumps in with a lower price. He's sworn at, poor guy, and treated like a child told to sit in the corner and not speak unless spoken to. With the games, malice and tactics of The Apprentice, unless he has a supreme business plan, I don't think he'll be cutthroat enough to compete with the other spiky characters.

After the boys win by quite some margin, the other boy Tim is fired. Only the project managers have gone so far, kind of showing that you can sit in the backseat for the early episodes and go through (what did Sophie and Jordan do?). I'm left feeling sad about Tim's departure; I picked him out as my favourite during the first episode, and really think he'd be a series standout if he made it a few weeks longer. The fired candidates from the early weeks are never really remembered, which is a shame.

Anyway, two episodes...verdict? The Apprentice has had me shouting at my screen on more-than numerous occasions. I've questioned the BBC's "casting" decisions quite a bit as well. I'm sure some of these people are more likeable in "real life" than they're portrayed to be, and although I'm not currently convinced, I'm sure their business acumen will shine through too. (Having said that, it's a general consensus that they are all about "selling". I think they'll need to prove they're not just good salespeople to impress the viewer.) But when it comes down to it, The Apprentice makes good TV. It gets you ranting (see all above!!), debating, shouting, tweeting...and the controversial candidates are there for a reason. Good TV and guilty pleasures... Welcome back!

Before next Wednesday's episode...Whos' Who? Enjoy some seeing double :)
(Jason Leech, Alex Epstein. Francesca MacDuff-Varley, Stella English. Susan Ma, Sophie Lau.)