In the super year of 2012, we’ve had the Spiderman reboot, the coolest superhero gang you’ve ever known (aka The Avengers) and now the final instalment of the Dark Knight himself. And boy has superhero world saved the best for last. The Dark Knight Rises is one of the longest films I’ve ever seen (164 minutes) but every minute takes you on an epic, mesmerising, dark, and intriguing journey. Hold onto your (Batmobile) seatbelts, because Nolan, Bale and co. are about to take you on a hell of a ride.

Firstly, I’m on my best behaviour and will strive to keep this beview -sorry, review - as spoiler-free as possible. Because there are surprises and stuff, STAY AWAY from any spoilers or Wikipedia etc. I mean it; if you want to truly enjoy the film, STAY AWAY. DO NOT RUIN IT FOR YOURSELF. And having watched the rest of the trilogy helps an awful lot too – there are poignant moments you wouldn’t otherwise understand, and you wouldn’t have a clue about who Rachel is, or Harvey Dent’s role in the current stance of the city either. 

The Dark Knight Rises picks up 8 years after it left off, and Gotham is no longer the crime-filled city it used to be. Which means that Batman’s suit and mask haven’t even been touched in years; retired Bruce Wayne is like an old man with a cane. However, the arrival of new characters bring a game-changing dynamic to Gotham and Mr Wayne. There’s cat thief woman Selina Kyle, played by Anne Hathaway, whose mystery and feistiness is a direct match for Batman’s. Even though I went into the cinema with the bubblegum image of Princess Mia (Princess Diaries) in my head, thinking “there’s no way Mia could be Catwoman!”, she certainly proved me wrong. Other characters include Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s “good cop” John Blake who is possibly my personal favourite of the film. He may be an ordinary patrol officer but he has idealism and instinct where it counts. And I’m not being biased just because I have a teeny tiny – ok, gigantic - crush on Gordon-Levitt. Marion Cotillard does a good job in bringing Wayne back to his business, and Tom Hardy completes the Don’t-forget-it’s-not-actually-Inception Team as mega hench villain Bane. 

Everybody’s been comparing Bane to Heath Ledger’s Joker, but they’re very different. The Joker was dark, sadistic and sinister and whilst Bane still possesses these qualities, he is this huge bulk of man and muscle who can physically push Batman to his limits. Kudos to Tom Hardy for his astonishing transformation (I think if I ran at him it’d be like running into a brick wall and bouncing straight off). I heard early rumours/criticisms about people not understanding his voice but I found it perfectly audible. In fact, I wanted to laugh at one point at his accent (because I couldn’t tell what accent it was) + digitised voice, but I’ll blame the gas mask. What’s interesting about Bane is that he’s not a one-dimensional villain who just wants to kill everyone, end of. There’s always more… Returning characters Gordon (Gary Oldman), Fox (Morgan Freeman), and Alfred (Michael Caine) each carry huge significance to the story and a Batman film just wouldn’t be the same without them! 

Then we have the Batman himself. Christian Bale does an exceptional job as caped superhero, but also as a vulnerable and helpless citizen of a breaking city. And it’s his job to, well, rise. There are elements of Batman Begins and his emotional backstory (literally. But you’ll find that out later) and lots and lots of different emotions (many courtesy of good ol’ Alfred the Butler); moments where you want to cheer/woop/smile/cry/hug someone. Although Batman is central to the plot (after all, it is his film), the whole ensemble and story means that you don’t even notice when he’s been off screen for a bit. The whole thing just works.  

I can’t say much about the actual plot without ruining things, but I will say that you will not be disappointed. Unlike a lot of films these days, there is substance and a backbone to the story well-established by the predecessors in the trilogy. Rich vs poor, triumph vs failure, fear vs courage and overcoming fear. Add that to disaster on a large scale (I’m sure you’ve seen the trailers), impressive CGI sequences and fight scenes, especially the hand-to-hand combat of Wayne vs Bane, and cool new gadgets, and you’ve got yourself an action-packed action film. 

Ultimately, The Dark Knight Rises sits comfortably up very high with my all-time favourites. It’s one of those films which I want to (and would pay to) see again, as there are mind-boggling, intricate details you might miss the first time round. As a conclusion, it is thoroughly clever, satisfying and will make you wonder and cry even after the closing credits. Leaving the cinema, I had a million things to say (or, ahem, squeal) so the natural thing to do was to write a review and transfer some of my excitement to you, the lovely reader. Even in the streets walking home, I’d look around me before speaking about the film just in case I ruined it for an unsuspecting passerby before they had the chance to see it. The moral of this review is to go and watch it, so that we can exchange excited squeals together without having to worry about the spoilers. Now go! 

(Ps. Here's a funny "This is what The Dark Knight Rises poster should look like" spoof. On the left, the poster forThe Dark Knight.)